“Portion Patrol” by M. C. Lubow

The spice of my life is exercising portion control
slicing our once twice weekly lunches
to 45 minutes once a quarter.

I tried to find him entertaining, but in fact
I was the one remaining in the booth
with seats of leather
while he beckoned her heather.

Yes, he wanted fruit and turkey.
The waitress said there was no fruit.
Undeterred, he asked for mayo and mustard
offered me half, half his sandwich, half his lunch.

While my muse was making eyes
at the waitress I now despise
for her slim, tall youth,
I was the one remaining in the booth

The waitress pranced about, danced up the aisle,
used her saber to lance my smile and
brought him plain old tacky French’s, a tacky yellow ordinary mustard
in a tacky yellow plastic squeezer.

My hunch is she’s every inch a teaser
She may not know the pleasure of Grey Poupon
But she knows what she’s attracting
like a bee to honey.

Once reserved for me, he gave
the mustard bearer his fanfare as if she presented
him with a rare tasty Dijon, as if I weren’t there
remaining in the booth of leather.

My former muse now her regular, a regular diner, a regular bee
For she smiled honeymustard as we departed
and said to him and not to me

Thanks for coming back and back and back to my hive

M. C. Lubow

Foto by L. K. Thayer

© 2010


  1. lkthayer · July 12, 2010

    I love this Maxine! Haven’t we all felt this at one time or another?! Great work my dear!! 🙂

  2. Angela Cohan · July 12, 2010

    I love your work Maxine. This piece is written so beautifully–very


  3. perla karney · July 28, 2010


    Your poetry is luscious, wet and wild.

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