“Power” by L. K. Thayer

I have cramps.
I thought the period thing was over.
Period.
I have no energy, I don’t want to speak to anyone, or show up for anything. I’m tired of showing up. I’m tired of showing. I’m tired, period.
Trying to make something happen. Trying to make it.
That damn word, it. The it thing, the it girl …it can go suck it! Fuck it… Fuck it’s self!!
I wear an art mask. Masking taped together with thumbtacks and glue. I don’t want to take care of anybody or anything…I don’t want to take care of myself.
I feel like a loser. A hamster on a ferris wheel, I don’t wanna be the sideshow, the second wheel, the second fiddle…I want to open. Be the one who they pay to see.
The phone rings…I see it has a blocked number. I reach for the sound to turn it off. There was a time when I would’ve given anything for him to call. Just to hear his deep voice would send shivers in all the right places. Knowing we would spend hours sharing saliva and other bodily juices. I miss that feeling of really wanting someone, the way my heart rushed at the thought of him, wanting to look good for him, kiss him, smell him, stroke his hair, lay my head on his chest. He broke my heart for a while, but I got it back and he wants to see me again and Jimmy Crack Corn and I Don’t Care…
I turn the sound on the cell down to vibrate and feel my power, the power I gave away… and I feel good.

L. K. Thayer’s Foto Fetish

© 2010

5 comments

  1. Alexis Rhone Fancher · August 26, 2010

    Damn! You nailed it, girl. Down. Real deep. And then some.

    • lkthayer · August 26, 2010

      Thank you my dear goddess Alexis, that means a lot to me…we miss you so much in class, you are irreplaceable!! 🙂

  2. brokenpenwriter · August 26, 2010

    BRAVO!! Wonderfully sculpted, picking up pieces and molding them back together, stronger, focused and ready to BE L.K.Thayer

    Super good work, LK. Loved it.

    • lkthayer · August 26, 2010

      Thank you so much for you lovely comments, it helps me be brave in my writing that I share with you…encouraging others as well! – LK 🙂

  3. stephen kalinich · September 9, 2010

    Lisa this one tares my heart out.It is gut wrenching confessional triumphant
    in a Last Exit o Brooklyn kind of way.
    A Selby tome
    regaining your power
    turning to grace for redemption and urgent help
    reaching out in words beyond words
    naked in raw emotions
    I love this fucking writing
    you are best when you
    stop beating yourself up and
    take back what is always yours
    always ours
    Be peace
    be hurt be anger
    for an instant
    and then let them go
    release them off of a cliff in Malibu
    for who cares about you more
    than you and
    those of us who love you
    and have been blessd
    by your touch in their life.

    Love
    Stevie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s