Rebecca Clites

barbra

“I Save Twenty Bucks a Month Not Buying Tampons”

 

My hot flashes are getting hotter.  My desire is getting colder.  And my patience and my hair are growing thin.  I can barely remember ten minutes ago let alone yesterday.  Sending an email that makes sense requires no less than five reviews.  I could doze off in front of a friend telling the most riveting story.  Or I could stay up all night watching Barbra Streisand TV specials.  My attention span is less than that of a two year old.  I must be entertained at “Hello” or I’m bored.  I take no pills.  I create my own prisoners.  My filter is worn through.  There is very little between my thoughts and my voice.  There is less between my insanity and my reality.  And there is nothing between my legs.  Menopause has set me free.  I am a liberated b-otch who has nothing to prove to anyone but herself.  That, my friends, is more significant than saving twenty bucks a month not buying tampons.

– Rebecca Clites

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10 comments

  1. lkthayer · April 27, 2013

    I love your work Rebecca, you kill me each and every time! Ha! 🙂

  2. Alexis Rhone Fancher · April 27, 2013

    Rebecca, you always get to the nitty gritty of life in your writing. Love seeing your work here at the Juice Bar.

  3. LisaKane · April 27, 2013

    I love this Becky. How nice it was to open my mail and see your name! Amen to your words. So true.

  4. Mitch · April 27, 2013

    The best writing comes from the mind of getting thru every day of life… She has one hell of a mind!!!

  5. LizTN · April 28, 2013

    You are fierce! LOVE this. Sharing with all my menopausal pals.

  6. Joel Shearer · April 28, 2013

    Rebecca! Your writing is fresh and honest and funny and vulnerable! So excited to have the opportunity to hear your work each week!!!!

  7. Julie D. · April 30, 2013

    Amen, sista!

  8. adeshkaur · April 30, 2013

    Rebecca, you whacky wonderful writer you. Thank you for this “wtf is happening to me?” piece about menopause. You nailed the confusion and stirred up the humor. Brilliant work.

  9. Matthew Hetznecker · May 3, 2013

    I wonder now how much I have saved on Tampons over years must be millions. Rebecca reminds us to not grow-up or become wiser, just write smart poems and let the chips fall were they may. And if all else fails, Babs!

  10. Jill · May 3, 2013

    I love the raw honesty of your words – visceral and hilarious! Wonderful!! xoxo

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