“that new car smell” by L. K. Thayer


I have lost plenty of stilettos down the road

where is my Prince?

(and I don’t mean

Paisley Park)

this is my Jimmy Choo

my Manolo Blahnik sonnet

hail, to the low life

the bottom feeders

bottoming out

promoting their reality

so we can sit on our hamstrings

inhaling hotdogs and alka-seltzer


that four letter word

that bitch in heat

she comes bottled in

her own hot sauce

burning our bellies

she is the spice

of this life

the main condiment

we order her in epidemic proportions

there is no portion control

our appetite is obese

gorging on gossip

bingeing on bling and accessories

and that seductive

new car smell

selling out

schilling this, that

and our Mother

til someone yells Uncle

and we give in

to temptation

to degradation

to alienation

with extra cheese

sucking down huge Slurpies of smut

and insatiable desires to make it big

make it fast

make it or break it

we are fixated


the almighty




couch potatoes turning into mashed potatoes

with an order of fries

can I get that super-sized?

medicating cries of the truth

because no one can handle it

put at saddle on it and ride this

dog and pony show

“there’s no business, like show business

like no business I know

everything about it is appealing…”

extra, extra read all about it

text me, sext me, blog me,

flog me, fuck me, spank me

just thank me

that I haven’t succumbed to complete

narcissism and catatonia

see me, feel me, touch me heal me

heal me, heal you,

heal your neighbor

before you feel the big-bang

and before you know it

bang, bang

you’re dead

L. K. Thayer

© 2013


  1. Mitch · July 23, 2013

    Drives me crazy more and more every time I read this…. Talk about blowing my mind!!!!
    Words with such devine thighs cracks my nuts ~ Oh Lisa soooooooooo love this ~x~

  2. lkthayer · July 23, 2013

    I am so happy you do Mitch and wish it was a happy ending, but we will all make the best
    of our situation….don’t you just love that new car smell? Give me a Slurpie, make it a double!!
    Adore you, thanks! ~ x ~

    • Mitch · July 23, 2013

      F*ck the car I just love the thighssssssssssss
      Good to see that creative spark is in full gear my darling!!!
      Keeeeep revvvvvvvvvvvvvving ~x~

  3. Fred Whitlock · July 24, 2013

    Healing just to be touched by your hot sauce poem.

  4. Fred Whitlock · July 24, 2013

    Makes me wish I was thw one you wanted to be next to you in your car – wonderful poem.

  5. adeshkaur · August 4, 2013

    You are the real deal, baby. Sexy wonderful whacky artist. What more is there?

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