Souvenirs and Evidence
The Search and Rescue crew handed me the bag
like a forgotten sandwich. I held it for days;
a Zip-Loc of belongings: his taxi wallet, damp
from melted snow with twelve, crisp hundred dollar bills,
weekend cash to pay for my 45th birthday.
His red bandanna covered in rocks and ice,
smelling of sweat and torn mountain skin.
Our son’s fifth grade picture in his wallet:
Hazel eyes, pirate t-shirt, gypsy hair;
face staring back at me with that “I am safe” look.
And then the goggles, still foggy,
still defrosting from a long night and buried.
I held the bag for days; it was the last of him.
Later, when people came to pay their respects,
to tell me how “He was in a better place,”
“He died doing what he loved”
only the ache remained,
like heart surgery without anesthesia.
I would share the bag and its contents
with anyone who was interested.
A friend put her arm around me and said:
“You don’t have to worry anymore. All the things
you were afraid of have already happened to you.”
The Juice Bar 
Susan, thank you for your brave work, just stunning! You slay me.
Wow. Gorgeous. Stunning. Thank you. I have missed the Juice Bar
so hard to read this….so proud of how your have come through…so sad that life can be so damn hard
Love this Susan. Thank you for sharing your work. A very moving poem.
Reblogged this on chrissiemorrisbrady.
My brave beautiful friend. xo
Susan, when my husband died mountain climbing people said the same thing to me. One person even said “What a cool way to die”! Such remarks made it seem like my grieving had to begin all over. I am so sorry for your loss and grateful for your poem. I wish you peace.
Susan, I felt every bit if pain as you spoke what was given to you – all that was left
My stomach still hurts.
What a touching, deep
Poem. Thank you for sharing this. Your courage is admirable.
Your writing is superb.
How hard for those who loved him; I’m glad you had each other for a time; blessings and love
Thank you all for your heartfelt responses & for your understanding. Deeply felt! xSH
Having known him and knowing you, this brought me to my knees. Thank You for sharing your heart. You are powerful.