“MR_eatda_PUSSAY” by Justin Valdivia

After a lot of searching around on the internet, I’ve found a new spiritual leader and I’ve bookmarked him on my browser. I’ve been following him on Twitter ever since my dad killed himself back in May, and his spiritual messages have been changing my life and the way I the way I look at the world.
I used to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and read daily self-help books. I even used to pray and meditate and take a daily personal inventory.
Now I’m a disciple and follower of MR_eatda_PUSSAY
That’s Capital “M,”Capital “R,” underscore, lowercase, e-a-t-d-a, underscore, then all caps P-U-S-S-A-Y
It was nothing short of miraculous that I found Mr. EatDaPussay.
I went to the Getty a couple of Saturdays ago with one of my oldest using buddies, Jeremy Pagan, who is now a Christian. Jeremy was too busy with his three kids to hang with me, so it was me and Steven, his little brother, who hung out.
Steven and I fucked around all afternoon in the Getty, laughing at the different depictions of the Crucifixion and making tallies of the variety of sculpted penises in the museum. In one of the salons, we counted 27 different dicks, not including the sculpture on the veranda we called “Man with Dong on Horse with Dong.”
That night I Googled Steven to friend him on Facebook.
The only Steven Pagan I found was on Twitter, AKA, Mr. EatDaPussay.
That’s when my life changed. Forever.
These are some key phrases that have pulled me through some rough times over the past few weeks:

Fuck You, LOL
I need some head.
Just took a shower.
Who tryna buy me some new earrings
bored as hell and hungry
who sellin an ipod?

My friend and I set up a twitter account called the BeanerBrothers, which is supposed to be random observations of life from the brown man’s perspective. We are the only two people who follow it.
Mr. EatDa Pussay, on the other hand, has 2,354 followers, proselytizing to the WWW with
I need weed
Get the fuck out my face
I got dubs
Who tryna buy these dubs
who needs a dub, holla?

You’d be surprised by how just one of these tweet proverbs can turn a bad day around
Bout to Get some Pizza
Need to walk to the store real quick
I’m So high
It’s so crazy how fucked up I get LOL
shower was great
Fuck y’all, goodnight

Justin Valdivia

L. K. Thayer’s Foto Fetish

© 2010

Charles Bukowski

Charles Bukowski Picture Gallery

“like now as like before and before I have been slowly
drinking this fine red wine and listening to symphony after
symphony from this black radio to my left

some symphonies remind me of certain cities and certain rooms,
make me realize that certain people now long dead were able to
transgress graveyards

and traps and cages and bones and limbs

people who broke through with joy and madness and with
insurmountable force

in tiny rented rooms I was struck by miracles

and even now after decades of listening I still am able to hear
a new work never heard before that is totally
bright, a fresh-blazing sun

there are countless sub-stratas of rising surprise from the
human firmament

music has an expansive and endless flow of ungodly

writers are confined to the limit of sight and feeling upon the
page while musicians leap into unrestricted immensity

right now it’s just old Tchaikowsky moaning and groaning his
way through symphony #5
but it’s just as good as when I first heard it…”

from “Me and Faulkner”

– Charles Bukowski

“20 Stories” by L. K. Thayer

below the underbelly of the stretched cat winter
claws scratch what has unraveled in the tangle
of deception, sticky on your fork tongue
I watch as you slink back into your lair
waiting for the next pawn to suckle dry

your crumbs I am no longer hungry for
they don’t satisfy my well of discontentedness
your couch no longer swallows my every cell
I gasp for air in your billowing tented ego

I dangled on your charm bracelet
I dreamt of your crooked smile
I fell twenty stories to an untimely death
from our penthouse love affair

exclusion is a crushing blow

L. K. Thayer

Photo by VC Ferry

All Rights Reserved

© 2010

“The Night Cat” by Taylor Negron

A nearly invisible cat jumped on my chest last night with the force of one hundred aliens

The paw, or the echo of a paw- awoke me from a dream of molasses, grave digging and grocery shopping

Another mans nightmare- shrouded in chromatic veils and unexpected spatial conundrums

Elusive, uneasy figures had gathered to assist in the shopping. I choose cheese, fruit and Fish

Everything moves around, but nothing changes. Everything except the cheese

Painting & Poem Taylor Negron

All Rights Reserved

© 2010

“Uneasy Chair” by L. K. Thayer

I can’t get the

bitter taste
of you out of my


you’re a nasty muse.

I gave you my lining

I gave you my inseam

I wore my favorite



I sit like a cat


for the next twig to

to hear if there’s

an echo or

anything to bounce

off of.
but there is

no murmur
to fill my void.

you lean back in your
easy chair

while the rest of the city


and sinks into potholes
on bumpy roads to

Photo by VC Ferry

scratch your balls
and worry

that you’re out of cream

and Sweet & Low

for tomorrow morning’s

cup o’


L. K. Thayer

All Rights Reserved

© 2009