Rebecca Clites


“I Save Twenty Bucks a Month Not Buying Tampons”


My hot flashes are getting hotter.  My desire is getting colder.  And my patience and my hair are growing thin.  I can barely remember ten minutes ago let alone yesterday.  Sending an email that makes sense requires no less than five reviews.  I could doze off in front of a friend telling the most riveting story.  Or I could stay up all night watching Barbra Streisand TV specials.  My attention span is less than that of a two year old.  I must be entertained at “Hello” or I’m bored.  I take no pills.  I create my own prisoners.  My filter is worn through.  There is very little between my thoughts and my voice.  There is less between my insanity and my reality.  And there is nothing between my legs.  Menopause has set me free.  I am a liberated b-otch who has nothing to prove to anyone but herself.  That, my friends, is more significant than saving twenty bucks a month not buying tampons.

– Rebecca Clites