Madness Deepens

“It Is Not Over Yet”

Today was a day when rain poured against shattered hearts

Breaking pieces like a drumroll, sinking droplets upon surrender

Thickening air against chest conpressions, loss of breath

Gasping for relief from this winding road, where footprints are lost

…..

Gathering the strength to be strong for the battle

Yet tears flood palms, black stained cheeks of sorrow

Screams fill the mind of weakened prosperity

This load to carry, being pulled down by gravity

….

Now that the storm has passed, I look up

As night pushes up the day, I will take you by the hand

I will hold with all I have, here where we stand

I will not let you die, and be left there

….

Where God knows where…..

….

If I could, I would, wish it be me

To take it all away, to take this pain

Give it to my body – oh Lord – hear my plea

I will sacrifice myself for her to be free….

….

Burden of shifting cells, ripping away the soul

Making the thoughts become uncertain

Shaken, taken, and left out to dry

Just don’t close the curtain

….

Red velvet strands, dripping from incision

Tubes of filtered forgiveness, clotting memories

The great depression, lies upon whispering winds

The storm is here, pouring out clouds of confusion

….

There will come a time,

When the storm brings it’s rainbow

Across your heart,

Bringing sunshine, from above

….

On my knees, without a word from silent lips

But a loud scream, against my soul

Tears falling upon the floor, puddling

Then I saw you, there, a shining light

….

Sigh no more, mother, cry not a tear

For God is there to make your dreams better than hopes

He has his arms around you, tightly

Sigh no more, mother, he will help you cope…

….

– Madness Deepens

© 2013

“Fool’s Gold” by Chanel Brenner

I found the surprise

You left for me

In my journal

While I was in one of your

favorite restaurants

The place with the

cheesy eggs and cookies

shaped like hearts

I stumbled across it

While searching for

words like fool’s gold

In a river, sifting and sifting

and there it was

A golden nugget

A treasure

You would have called it

Your name  written backwards

YELIR, a trident for a Y

And a picture you drew

of yourself

your right arm up in the air

as if to say goodbye or hello.

Chanel Brenner

Dedicated In Loving Memory to

Riley Brenner

July 28th, 2004 – March 7th, 2011

© 2011

“Exit Softly” by Julie Dolcemaschio

I drew breath the night she took her last
And vibrated with her passing
I waxed as she waned
And I told her it was alright to leave

I pushed between the spaces of my living
And for every breath she took, I gave her more of mine
Hoping that it would give me a few more minutes
Yet hoping it wouldn’t

She hurt enough
She suffered enough
She endured enough

In her last breath the good daughter urged her on
And in her final moments a single tear traced the lines of her face
Now taut over structure bones no longer needed in this life
She told me once that a life lived full was all that was required
And that passing the test required only a smile

I watched her exit softly in the late night quiet
Reverence for the passing of royalty
And as that final tear caressed her cheek
I saw God, and I asked him to hold her hand

She was a bit unsteady
And had a fear of falling

Julie Dolcemaschio

Photo by VC Ferry

All Rights Reserved

© 2010

“Thin Skin” by Julie Dolcemaschio

We’ll not talk about the days spent
not knowing from one to the next
when not even her mother called
to ask if she had blankets
to keep her skin warm
8th ave. on a cold December day stays with a gal

with skin too thin already
I remember reading Bukowski
Aloud on nights when a corner couldn’t be found
I traced her path for her
In case she forgot how to do it herself
That happens sometimes to people who lose their
way

Now I cannot find a warm spot to think
She’s gone, like that blue-eyed soul song
But not so poignant
Help me cover her so she won’t get too cold
You know her skin was always too thin
When she remembered to keep it on

Julie Dolcemaschio

Photo by VC Ferry

All Rights Reserved

© 2010

“Godzilla’s Mother” by Adesh Kaur

Adesh & Olly Dancing

I watched Godzilla with my son tonight.
Not my cup of tea.
Curled up in his bed,
comforting his tears
from a brutal swim team practice.
“Mom, I thought I was drowning.”
I had no words, just my touch and purr.
And then,
“Hey, mom, let’s watch Godzilla!
It’s the fiftieth anniversary.
He’s actually younger than you.”
Godzilla. Younger than me.
Imagine that.
Well, there it is,
Godzilla. the angry lizard.
At least Olly didn’t say that I could have
been Godzilla’s mother.
I think that tomorrow when I chat with
Coach David,
I will be Godzilla calling.

Adesh Kaur

All Rights Reserved

© 2010

“DAISIES” by Adesh Kaur

Oliver Hale

My young one crouched down, stood up, and grinned.
“Look, mom, there are flowers in winter.”
“Oh, Olly, thank you.”
“Ya know, mom. I think that this is a daisy.”
“Well, I think so, too.”
It was indeed a daisy in winter in my young son’s heart and hands. A gift, a gift for mommy.
My very own hero holding out a flower gift.
Gosh, do I love this child.
“Well, Olly, we better go into swim team practice now.”
I stuck the grass flower into the band of my cowboy hat.
Pool time.
He struggled with his breath. Afraid, I think.
Something about putting his head under water for too long.
I sat on a lounge chair.
I acted busy.
I wanted to tell him it was okay, that he was doing great.
Coach David is kind but kinda sharp.
I watched Olly sinking, paddling to keep his head just above water.
They have to know that Oliver sees flowers in winter.
He knows about daisies.

Photo & Poem by Adesh Kaur

All Rights Reserved

© 2010

“to beat the band” by Alexis Rhone Fancher

Alexis Rhone Fancher

you take a good picture, he says,
picking up
the framed, Fuji-color
moment,
taking it in.

it is me, so strong,
invincible.
a good actress, I am.
I’ve hidden the pain
of that raw time.
he doesn’t look hard enuf
to see it.
can you blame him?
it is all we can do
to cover our own grief.

in the photo I look
happy, strong, arms above
my head
& those dark glasses
glinting back
the harsh winter sun,
the red
pashmina
draped
around my neck

& I look good
real good
& if you didn’t
check the date –
if you didn’t know,
you’d never
know
that inside I was
grieving
to beat
the band.


-Alexis Rhone Fancher
December 25, 2009
All Rights Reserved
© 2009