“Suicide Is Just Not an Option …When the BS is Too Much” by Levy Lee Simon

Levy Lee Simon at Elderberries in Hollywood

I sit here in the quiet of my solitude,
silent in full awareness of my breath,
thoughts clear, mind on reflect,
understanding fully well who I am
a Black man, individual unto myself,
a unique creation of God by God,
fully charged.

Yet, I’m puzzled again and again
by those that try to identify me in terms of generality,
this black man, me.
Of deep brown skin tone, but I was born alone.
I am not a clone.

So why is it I hear constantly in my ear,
cries that a Black man should be feared.
the Black man this or that.
That nigger, this or that,
Always giving us crap…
busted by laws with all it’s flaws,
denied access to cabs, used in labs,
given looks that could kill,
racially profiled, unfair trails,
poor test scores, followed in stores,
low evaluations and low grades,
treated unfair, called spades
prisons and jails with no bails.
It’s hard because can’t get no job,
Can’t even  buy a house, without a spouse
Kicked to the pavement even with a down payment.

Make somebody say,
what’s the use… it’s like abuse.
Alcohol, drugs, becoming a thug.
Hatred and fear harbored inside the mind,
the only solution, a hit of something, or a bottle of wine.
Everybody can’t be an athlete or a Hip-Hop King,
Bread for entertainment to dance and sing.

Subjected to this…
You ain’t shit….  May as well quit.
You no good…. I wish you would.
I can do bad by myself, you ain’t got no wealth
Wasn’t going to amount to nothing, gimme something,
loser, abuser, liar, womanizer. Why try? Just lie.
Shiiiiiit. No hope, why not use dope.
Nobody’s there to dry my eyes,
to ease the pain inside,
the shame that can’t be denied.

To even the score, walk through the door,
Walk strong, like I belong.
Head up eyes straight ahead, not dead
Suicide is not an option.

Even when
our mothers didn’t get it,
when our sisters didn’t get it,
when our women don’t get it,
when nobody gets it but us.
Because we are up against,
News and movies that try to define who we are,
but far from the truth by far.
Killing me like I don’t need your help,
But, I’ll be damned if I kill myself.

Through a life time of situations,
and aggravations, suicide is not an option.
Let’s talk about revolutions, let’s talk about solutions.
Because suicide in not an option, when the BS is just too much.

Levy Lee Simon

Photo by L. K. Thayer

© 2010