“Family Shrapnel” by L.K. Thayer

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My mom asked me,“was I a bad mother?”
she couldn’t remember how she’d mothered us
it was all more about coping, surviving & needlepoint
painting the wall bittersweet
the emerald green carpet, white wicker furniture
and collecting brass birdcages
she would douse herself in Estee Lauder
enough to choke the neighbors down the hall
I think she must have been in a state of shock
for a few years
just went on automatic kamakzie pilot
when the “D” bomb went off
the family shrapnel blew out into tiny
pieces in tiny hands
cupping Campbell’s tomato soup
with grilled cheese sandwiches for supper
helping us on and off with our winter snow suits
& boots & hats & mittens
on & off with mosquito spray
on & off with life preservers
from Fargo for God’s sake…
icicles running down our little snot noses
slipping on the ice chin first,
bleeding into Kleenex tissues
(there goes my Sonya Hieny skating career)
the mother thing…
I dodged that bullet
I picked up the worry gene
from my grandmother
that
and colon cancer
the surgeon sliced eight inches off of mine
now I’m a semi-colon
(she says with an exclamation point)
Mostly I’ve dodged my own Uzi
pointed at my self destructive noggin
mostly I was the hit man
the target I wanted to take out
I should have citizens arrested myself
spent a few nights in lock down
mostly I got loaded, shit faced
drunk, numb enough to slide
out of my shy state
and under the covers
with some underling
under a sheet like a ghost
dressed for
trick or treating
Jonesing for some lonely hearts grab bag
searching for the sweetness
relying on
the naughty tart
that I have perfected
and the multi-colored rainbow ball
spins on my laptop
fucking up my world
I give it the weight of gold bullion
and the wounds
of my
endangered species
© 2013

“Murder In Me” by L. K.Thayer

 

 

Almost destroyed my reputation
Thought it was over for me
I’m just a mass of contradictions
None of which I believe to be
Got to stop, stop this murder in me

Arrest the situation, handcuff my heart
This investigation is tearin’ me apart
Got to stop, stop this murder in me

Shake off these chains, of fear and self doubt
If it takes all my life I’m gonna figure it out
Find the key, to stop this murder in me
Got to stop, stop this murder in me

Lovin’ yourself, ain’t such a crime
Surrender baby, instead of doin’ time
Got to stop, stop this murder in me

Arrest the situation, handcuff my heart
This investigation is tearin’ me apart
Got to stop, stop this murder in me

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L. K. Thayer‘s Foto Fetish

© 2011